


Flowers in the water

by catthepirate



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Not Beta Read, One-Sided Attraction, fuyuhiko is implied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:28:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23766160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catthepirate/pseuds/catthepirate
Summary: Komaeda wasn’t a romantic; he never considered romance a huge part of life. But what he did want more than anything, was just for someone to love him. But he didn’t believe in romance, or in true love. Because it just simply wasn’t possible for someone like him; he didn’t deserve any love. He was the lowest trashiest being on the entire Earth. So when he found himself coughing out petals of daisies; he wasn’t surprised.
Relationships: Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Hinata Hajime/Kuzuryu Fuyuhiko, Komaeda Nagito & Nanami Chiaki
Comments: 3
Kudos: 95





	Flowers in the water

Komaeda wasn’t a romantic; he never considered romance a huge part of life. But what he did want more than anything, was just for someone to love him. But he didn’t believe in romance, or in true love. Because it just simply wasn’t possible for someone like him; he didn’t deserve any love. He was the lowest trashiest being on the entire Earth. So when he found himself coughing out petals of daisies; he wasn’t surprised. 

They started out small, if they were particularly clumped up Komaeda found blood splattered in pretty little patterns on the snow white petals. It was fairly easy to hide too; no one ever bothered checking in on him after a few small coughs and a quick small excuse. He doubted anyone even noticed how frequent the coughs became; or how often he carried his trash bin to the dumpster. 

Komaeda felt the urge to throw up everytime _he’s_ near though. When he’s near it feels like the tiny daisies become huge gardens of roses. Thorns poking at his throat every time he grabs his hands. But the real catch is; _Komaeda can’t stop being near him._ Komaeda can’t even fathom not being anywhere near him. He loves him too much; he knows how much the flowers and thorns hurt, but he can’t help it.

His life feels so much better when he’s around. When he’s talking to Hajime; he feels just a tiny bit less worthless. Like he’s at least worth something, anything. But the worst part of the pain isn’t the garden growing in his lungs or the scraping thorns across his throat. But _knowing_ the pain of knowing that he will never be loved back in the same way that he loves him. Komaeda would give everything about himself and his entire being to Hajime, but Hajime wouldn’t return it.  
\---

Komaeda was foolish to think that he could hide it from everyone for so long. After all, the flowers only became larger as time grew. And his body became weaker as his excuses became more frequent. He never expected someone like her to directly approach him about it though, in such a blunt way too. 

“You have Hanahaki, Komaeda” She had cornered him in the hallway after another excuse of his; staring directly at him instead of her video games for once. “Ah, what makes you say that, Nanami?” She simply just looked back down at her switch, “You haven’t been hiding it well, you often excuse yourself and you’re hiding your coughs every time you do decide to hang out with us” She paused to finish a level; Komaeda tried to interrupt her but she kept going, “And, I saw you carrying a trash bin of bloody flowers to the dumpster this morning” 

He sighed, there wasn’t anything he could say to her; she had him cornered. Both literally and figuratively, “Ah, I should’ve known the person to figure it out first would be you, Nanami. How kind of you to care about some-” She stopped him, “Stop, I just want you to confess to the person you got it from. I don’t want you to suffer like this; it’s a terrible thing.” Komaeda tilted his head, what an odd choice of wording Nanami chose.  
“Ah, is it possible Nanami has experienced this as well?” She sighed and started walking back, “If you want to know, yes. I had it surgically removed” Komaeda decided to follow after her, it probably wouldn’t be too bad to go back with her after all, “What a curious thing to do...it removes the feelings after all” Chiaki didn’t respond and just opened the door, “Please, just think about what I said” Komaeda did give it some thought.

He gave it more thought than he would like to admit anyways.  
\---

Komaeda feels like he’s just in a ship; drifting on an ever moving sea. Komaeda isn’t in control in this situation as much as he’d like to be. The emotions in his heart filling up and overflowing out of his mouth and onto the sterile white tiled floors in his bathroom. Hajime decided to visit him now, of all the days he could. When Komaeda was feeling his worse with the disease being more finicky than usual. He decided to visit him now. 

After cleaning up the flowers and blood littering his floor he got up, deciding to face the monster of the day, Hajime Hinata. He walked through the doors, sitting back down near Hajime, “So why did you decide to come now, Hinata-kun?” Hajime just shifted on the couch before grabbing the shopping bag, “I just wanted to hang out with you?” His nervous tone framed it more as a question rather than an answer. Hajime dug through his bag to pull out ice cream mochi, “I couldn’t find my favourite today,” He complained and offered Komaeda one.

Komaeda took the quickly melting mochi and stuffed it into his mouth. He sighed as he listened to Hajime complain about his day; leaning towards him without knowing it himself until his head hit Hajime’s shoulder. Komaeda nearly felt himself jump out of his skin but Hajime didn’t seem to care much. What a saint. 

Komaeda looked up at him; how could he not love him? He was simply everything he adored. He tried to understand Komaeda and he’s awfully cute. Komaeda felt himself pushing his head closer to Hajime’s. Maybe, just maybe Komaeda will give hope a chance to reach inside of him. Maybe he’ll finally tell Hajime his feelings. Maybe, he’ll let the hope grow, to think that Hajime could love him, a worthless good for nothing trash human being, back. 

“By the way, I came here to actually sort of announce something. Me and Fuyuhiko started dating a week ago, and decided to tell everyone now” Hajime scratched the back of his neck.

Komaeda felt the boat rocking and rocking but now it finally tipped over. He felt himself sinking and sinking as he continued to stare at Hinata’s eyes with no comment no anything because just as he got his hopes up his dumb luck took it away again. Komaeda never felt any pain like this before it scratched and scratched and scratched and scratched at his throat and inside. He feels the flowers clawing and tearing and trashing his lungs as he continues to search his mind for anything, any sort of response to give to Hinata. Any little thing to tell Hinata that he’s here and he’s okay. He searched for the words that couldn’t come out of his throat without choking on the tears and petals that he willingly stuffed himself with. Komaeda felt himself drowning over and over and over and…

“I’m happy for you, Hinata”

And that was it.

A few minutes later Hinata left the apartment. Komaeda slowly sulked to his bathroom. As he turned on his music and blasted whatever he could find as he slowly threw up all the feelings and butterflies Hinata left rotting inside of him. 

\---

Komaeda hadn’t left his apartment in at least 3 weeks. So when he opened the door to find Chiaki staring up at him he almost felt compelled to shut it and crawl back into his bed.  
“Ah, Nanami what bri-” She just pushed past him, sprinting into his apartment, “That’s rather rude, Nanami” She turned around and faced Komaeda, “You’ve been gone for four weeks” So his mind had lied, “I heard about the news of Fuyuhiko and Hajime, you liked Hajime, right?” Even the mention of his name caused Komaeda to go into a fit of coughing.

Komaeda lied on the floor of his kitchen with Chiaki playing animal crossing next to him, “I’m not going through surgery, Nanami” Chiaki just stared blankly at him, “But you have to, if you don’t you’ll die.” Komaeda just shook his head and curled up enough to hug his knees, “I don’t want to lose these feelings, Nanami” Chiaki looked back down to her switch, “I loved Hinata too...but I knew he had feelings for Fuyuhiko, so I gave up and rooted for him. Why can’t you do the same, Nagito?....” Komaeda stared at the tiles on his floor. He searched his mind for why and came up with nothing.

“I don’t know, Chiaki…..”

After an hour of sitting on the floor in silence Chiaki excused herself and left. Komaeda continued to stare at the floor before finally getting out of his apartment.

\---

Weeks have turned into months since Hajime and Fuyuhiko got together; Komaeda finally got out of his apartment enough to hang out with all of his friends regularly. But that didn’t stop the flowers. And it didn’t stop the pain.

One particular night Komaeda was having a rather deep conversation with Hajime while Fuyuhiko ran off to do something, Komaeda wasn’t truly paying much attention to Hajime’s conversation rather than just looking at him while he talked. 

“Y’know...I actually liked you for a while, Komaeda…” He scratched his neck and laughed, “I don’t know when it started or when it ended but it just sort of happened I guess, I liked Gundham too a-....” Komaeda couldn’t hear anything else after that. The buzzing in his head and the clawing at his throat had gotten to suffocating.

Hajime loved him once.

But he fell out of love.

Just how much did the world hate him?...

Komaeda suddenly got up, “I’m sorry, Hinata. I’m gonna leave you here for the night, I feel ill…” He raised his hands before running off. 

“W-Wait! Komaeda!-” Hajime called after him but it was too late.

Komaeda ran even when the flowers clogged his breathing and he continued to run even when his legs screamed at him to stop. He didn’t stop until he reached his apartment. Until he reached the house of flowers scattered and littered on the floor. Until he trudged through the petals and blood. He tried to make his way to the sink, the ringing in his ear never stopping. He thought he could hear Hajime and Chiaki pounding on the door, screaming for him to open up. 

He kept walking until he collapsed before the sink.

Hinata had loved him.

He had truly loved him at some point.

Komaeda felt his vision fading as he stared at the bottom of the sink. He heard the door burst open with Hajime and Chiaki still screaming after him. 

Maybe Hinata and Chiaki loved him...maybe in a different way than he would have liked.  
Just how cruel is this world to him?

Komaeda never believed in romance  
Someone like him could never find it.


End file.
